Formalities....

Queen Victoria was once at a dinner in London with many of London's diplomats. The guest of honor was an African chieftain. All went well during the meal until, at the end, finger bowls were served. The

guest of honor had never seen a British finger bowl, and no one had thought of briefing him beforehand about its purpose. So he took the bowl in his two hands, lifted it to his mouth, and drank its contents
down!
For an instant there was breathless silence among the privileged British guests, and then they began to whisper to one another. All that stopped; however, when Queen Victoria silently took her finger
bowl in her two hands, lifted it, and drank its contents! A moment later, 500 surprised British ladies and gentlemen simultaneously drank the contents of their own finger bowls. It was the queen's uncommon courtesy that guarded her guest from the embarrassment.

"Formalities are created by us ...so its in our hands to follow it or not"